i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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