It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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