girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
