hotel room ftw
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
