Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize