Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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