i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
