Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
