Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
