there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
