I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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