Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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