he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
