Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
