Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
there is glitter all over my balls
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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