I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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