i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
