drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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