No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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