nut hugger
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Enjoy the penises
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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