yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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