If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
