Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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