Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize