Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
