I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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