I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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