She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just google imaged poop.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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