why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
