I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
