My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
