I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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