Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
