i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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