girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
