i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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