Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize