Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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