Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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