You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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