oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
