OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think people are normalizing furries
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
