Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
