Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
