Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
