I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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