So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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