im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
