he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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