I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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