Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
