It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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