I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize