i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
