i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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