Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
